Monday, April 18, 2011

Effective Communication in Marriage

To resolve any of the tricky issues in a marriage power, sex, work roles, and others, its absolutely Vital to communicate well with each other. Researchers have noted that happily married couples tend to:
  • Share power and converse freely. They conversation is peppered with pauses, laughter, interruptions, and questions, which indicate spontaneity, flexibility, and interest in what is being said.
  • Work together to solve mutual problems
  • Be assertive (some say aggressive) when necessary. One psychologist observed, "the danger for a marriage is much from apathy than it is from aggression."
  • Criticize each other constructively, or refrain from criticism.
  • Deal with problems and difficult issues their own merits, not as sign that the entire relationship is crumbling.
Many of the skills people need to make a marriage work are not innate. For instance, we are not born with the ability to communicate effectively with another human being. We must learn to communicate, and the sooner the better. This means learning what to say, what not to say, when to listen, how to listen, and when to be listen. We are always communicating something when we are in the company of another person, gestures, silences, and body language all have meaning. It takes skill to decode what is being conveyed and to reply in a way that can be understood.

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